my_muse_is_youx (my_muse_is_youx) wrote,

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I've got this word. permanent marker. on my hand. it's wiping away slightly from all the wear of a day in school, but it really shouldn't be there at all. Apparently the word describes me and i deserve the title, but i swear i don't. but the feeling i have around you, that word can apply.


In the past year, my life has changed so much. I think it was the 18th, but i can't remember, but one relationship ended. From that period until may 17th, all i really distinctly remember is lacrosse, rain, running in the rain, listening to "My Favorite Accident" alot, and loving my friends.

May 17th, a new, better relationship. I had an awesome summer. Filled with running, swimming, warmth, love, friends, and just hanging out and doing stupid things that still stick in my memory as the best times of the summer.

 But I guess it was pretty hard to realize some things don't last forever, some feelings don't last forever, and I had to be fair.  I guess that's when i decided I can't really trust myself in relationship situations, and nothing can get too serious too fast or else i hurt someone. and i really wish in this case i didn't hurt someone. he never deserved that.

 Then there was the whole string of things that never worked out for various reasons (fault all upon me). I had a great 16th birthday to follow another fall i've survived just fine. I had christmas, then i went to disneyworld, and it was warm, and happy, and i like that memory. New Years kicked some major ass, no matter all the mixed signals that led from it. Valentine's had that whole shiny, new feeling. It was lacking the "oh god, i'm in love with a boy that quite possibly could have cheated on me with my 'best friend'" feeling. It was perfect.  St.Patricks day on thursday, and on Friday, (March 18, 2005)  I will have survived it all. And it only gets better from here on out.


and now there's you. and only the timing and you can take that tattooed title this time.






pee ess.... vote for messina and hoffman :)

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